The Campaign Builder's Guild

Granted. The moon is transformed into an excessively large version of the typical dumb industrial assembly line robot, power supply NOT included, and totally lacking any appreciable AI.

I wish for a copy of each yet-to-be written ASoIaF book.

Granted. You get a bunch of blank books. After all, the books have yet to be written.

I wish I could always know the correct answer to "If X and Y got into a fight, who would win?" for all people/organisms/etc. that have ever lived.

Granted, you now know that if X and Y got into a fight Z would backstab the victor and thus be the alphabet gladiatorial winner. You share this information with all organisms that have ever lived, but nobody seems to care.

I wish stupid people were banned from the internet

Granted, no one can use the internet ever again.

I wish I had magic beans!

Granted, they do nothing but they're definitely magical

I wish the person who grants this wish has to dance for my amusement for the rest of their lives.

Granted: I dance so hard that the dark gods bless me with demilichdom. I focus my newfound powers upon you. You do not find that very amusing.

I wish turtles ruled the universe.

Granted however the turtles were corrupted by the Felcabbage Lords of Oblivion whose only goal is to force children to eat steamed cabbage with guacamole sauce. Children every where now hate and despise you.

I wish someone could invent a ladder that's usable by Centaurs.

Granted, they use this new technology to conquer the world. You spend your last miserable days in a slave camp with other humans toiling for your new centaur lords.

I wish gnomes were real

Granted!  They are made of wood and spend most of their time standing in gardens, expect for the occasional times they tour the entire world.

I wish our old friends who haven't posted on the site in years would come back.

Granted. They come back. As zombies!

I wish I could get chocolate creme eggs all year.

Granted, you get nothing else to eat for sustenance and go mad craving for a good piece of lettuce or a nice ripe pear.

I wish I could make 5-star quality meals effortlessly

Granted!  The eggs are made of chocolate cream, which gets everywhere and spoils in about 10 minutes.  If you ever try to eat them, you get violently ill.

I wish there was less bureaucracy.

[ooc] Oh man, Zombie Raelifin would be awesome.  His enmity with elves extends even into undeath, wherein he craves only for the brains of skinny, haughty people with pointed ears.[/ooc]

Quote from: ELEMENTAL_ElfGranted! However, you are no longer "grounded" just restricted to "not leaving the house and not seeing your friends for a pre-determined amount of time" yet, for some unknown reason, you are EXTREMELY HAPPY ABOUT THIS!!!

(Thats fine.  I just wnat the computer.)
Granted, but your country goes to be the only buraecracy left on earht.

I wish for much food

Granted, it all tastes horrible and is bad for your health

I wish I could make 5-star quality meals effortlessly

Granted, but all who eat the mdie from food poisoning

I wish for a portable hole