The Campaign Builder's Guild

Continuing to go through the top-level wiki stuff in order:
Factions
I liked the way you subdivided them enough to copy the idea :)

Are those the only Agahzan noble houses, or just the most important ones? Do nobles only marry within those few houses?

QuotePowerful international bodies that count as their members the governments of one or more city-states.

This tripped me up and I had to re-read it. Was that just a fancy way of saying these are governments?

I need a secret society section, I think.
Flying Dragon Society is just about the best name for a secret society ever.

Why are there so many artificer guilds in Varrdyen? Of course, I know they have advanced crystal-tech. But I thought the idea of guilds was to organize all workers into a union of mutual protection. The more guilds that exist covering the same function, the less purpose they serve--so I'm guessing these guilds each cover very different functions?

What about noble houses outside Agahza? I know you mentioned that's where many games would start, so I can see why you'd focus on that one. But I'm curious if you've already been thinking about houses for other city-states (the ones that use an aristocracy, anyway).

I was interested to see you seem to list each religion itself as a faction, which does make sense. I suppose I was thinking more of seeing something like various Satya sects, than the entire religion.

Quote from: SteerpikeFirst of all, I find it a little curious that with the exception of the Lord of Plagues and Malwa, all the gods listed are in fact goddesses. Are there other, masculine gods who aren`t mentioned in the write-ups so far, or are the deities listed the only gods?

It does make me want to talk about a broader topic, though. There is a bit of a female bias in Crystalstar. This is evident in Varrdyen, in pixies, and so on. This is partially by design, to be different from the patriarchal male-dominated worlds out there. I'll admit it's also partially just my own experience creeping in, though, as I tend to design settings around characters and I tend to be better at conceptualizing female characters.

I'm not trying to accuse anyone of being sexist or whatnot by asking this next question, but I do wonder: Does the current female-majority pantheon stand out because of the skewed ratio inherently, or because it's specifically skewed toward females? That is, if the pantheon contained far more males than females, would anyone have commented?[/ooc]

Quote from: SteerpikeThirdly, the pixies - are these beings regarded as inherently supernatural, or connected in any sense with the gods? Are there any other fey in the setting?

Dune[/u], daemons from His Dark Materials, and Star Wars droids.

As for other fey, I hadn't really thought about it, but I'm pretty sure not every pixie-like creature would be as "domesticated," as it were. In fitting with my cultural inspirations, perhaps the "wild" sorts are more associated with nature and resemble something like the Yaksha of Indian myth.

Quote from: PhoenixThis tripped me up and I had to re-read it. Was that just a fancy way of saying these are governments?

Why are there so many artificer guilds in Varrdyen? Of course, I know they have advanced crystal-tech. But I thought the idea of guilds was to organize all workers into a union of mutual protection. The more guilds that exist covering the same function, the less purpose they serve--so I'm guessing these guilds each cover very different functions?[/quote]I was interested to see you seem to list each religion itself as a faction, which does make sense. I suppose I was thinking more of seeing something like various Satya sects, than the entire religion.[/quote]s do specialize in one of the three aspects of the divinity (creators, preservers, or destroyers) so this could be the basis of sectarian tensions.

QuoteThat is, if the pantheon contained far more males than females, would anyone have commented?

Well, these guilds are more like cyberpunk megacorporations, in some way. [/quote]
That makes more sense, then. Given the tech level, I don't know that I'd find "corp" totally inappropriate, but I can see your point. You could also consider "Artificer Orders."

[blockquote=sparkletwist]It's not an exhaustive pantheon. There are all of the members of the Choir of Ten Thousand to consider, of course, and I'm sure there are others out there.

It does make me want to talk about a broader topic, though. There is a bit of a female bias in Crystalstar. This is evident in Varrdyen, in pixies, and so on. This is partially by design, to be different from the patriarchal male-dominated worlds out there. I'll admit it's also partially just my own experience creeping in, though, as I tend to design settings around characters and I tend to be better at conceptualizing female characters.

I'm not trying to accuse anyone of being sexist or whatnot by asking this next question, but I do wonder: Does the current female-majority pantheon stand out because of the skewed ratio inherently, or because it's specifically skewed toward females? That is, if the pantheon contained far more males than females, would anyone have commented?[/blockquote]I didn't realize the Choir were so differentiated: their description as a "faceless mass" threw me off, though now I notice that Malwa was a former member.

It's possible that the skewed-towards-female ratio threw me more than a skewed to male one would, probably because in most mythological pantheons the male gods are prominent.  However, even when male gods are the dominant or emphasized ones (I'm thinking of the Norse pantheon principally), they usually have a host of female counterparts such that the actual numbers balance out.  I don't have any particular issue with a female-dominated pantheon - in fact I have more female goddesses than male myself, as well a few neuter gods - I just found the balance a bit curious; however, since the pantheon isn't intended as exhaustive, I find the pantheon far more plausible.

Cosmology
On planes: I kind of got the impression you were trying to take the D&D norm (particularly a reference to the negative energy plane, which I always saw as a kind of lame one) and refute it, which makes it kind of sound like something that belongs in Meta, if only because you're saying what things CS doesn't have. And, hell, maybe I need something like that too.

On the other hand, I like the notion you express about everything fitting in the same plane.

Much of the Outer Void sounds like you are looking for another name for Outer Space? Except for this:

QuoteSome believe it is where the planets start to become unstuck from the fabric of the universe.

What does that mean?

Cool physics. Sounds like you've got Indian influences there, too.

I like that you describe other planets--often neglected in fantasy settings.

Inferno question--it seems like you're saying there is oxygen (for fire to burn) on half the planet? That seems very odd. Am I misunderstanding?

Aqua sounds like a good place to telelink to, maybe the only good place since you mention other planets have been explored.

Lithos -- since the planet is further from the sun than Vyea, which is already colder than Earth, I'd expect the temperature to be even lower (at least in parts) than -40 (not that that's not cold). Random record, coldest Earth temp recorded in Antarctica is -89 C. I assume the high is because of a thinner ozone layer?

Giga- wow, now that's a vacation spot. If I play in CS, I'll be selling timeshares and one-way telelinks.

Quote from: PhoenixOn planes: I kind of got the impression you were trying to take the D&D norm (particularly a reference to the negative energy plane, which I always saw as a kind of lame one) and refute it, which makes it kind of sound like something that belongs in Meta, if only because you're saying what things CS doesn't have. And, hell, maybe I need something like that too.

traditional[/b] cosmology, though-- from a "factual" standpoint, it's completely wrong, and recently, scholars have realized that they got it all wrong. The positive energy plane was the sun, the negative energy plane was outer space, and the other planes were a combination of properties of the planets in their system and stuff someone completely made up. However, it's not just a meta thing because it's actually an element that happened in the setting.

Quote from: PhoenixCool physics. Sounds like you've got Indian influences there, too.

Aqua sounds like a good place to telelink to, maybe the only good place since you mention other planets have been explored.[/quote]I didn't realize the Choir were so differentiated: their description as a "faceless mass" threw me off, though now I notice that Malwa was a former member.[/quote]
I should probably make their individuality a little more clear, then. They're not literally a faceless mass, they're just a sort of 'lesser' deity than some of the specifically named ones. Kind of the role of angels and saints.

QuoteThat quote, for example, is an alternate (wrong) theory that the planets are "islands of reality" attached to a sort of hidden fabric, and the outer void exists where they're beginning to come detached.

I like the idea, now that it's explained. I think it would help to explain the "islands of reality" in the same place as that theory. But perhaps your unreliable narrator is best represented as an IC quotation, since the rest of the page appears factual?

After looking at the gods, I can answer your question--if you had seven named gods and six were male, and the only female was evil, I probably would have wondered about that too, yes. ;)

You already know I'm interested in the Creation/Preservation/Destruction paradigm so I'll just say it's need that you've organized all the gods within it.

QuoteLike most in the Circle of Origins, she is brilliant but disorganized, and tends to enjoy creating beautiful yet inscrutable works of art.

It is her duty to ensure that gardens grow and crops prosper. [/quote]
That sounds like preserving, but I can see it being generation too. It's interesting, because that assumes creation is continual, which undercuts the usually largest stage of Preservation.

Ten thousand preservers, huh? Are there as many creators and destroyers?

I guess what strikes me about Satya, is you've kind of given Varrdyen more or less the "true" religion, a fairly accurate picture of cosmology. To some extent, I'm guilty of this too, and with the same basic religion, no less. So I'll share my own fear--that of portrayed favoritism within the setting for a particular culture. And if we assume they can pin-point truth in religion, arguably the most unanswerable question in human existence, some readers may naturally assume they're right about most other things.

Neodoxy
Perhaps Malwa should be one of the described gods above? Discrimination based on sex in which direction? Doesn't that make him a fairly unenlightened god--certainly in the eyes of your modern audience?

Greenwood Cult amuses Phoenix.

As I mentioned previously, Antitheism is well done.

Quote from: PhoenixThat sounds like preserving, but I can see it being generation too. It's interesting, because that assumes creation is continual, which undercuts the usually largest stage of Preservation.

I guess what strikes me about Satya, is you've kind of given Varrdyen more or less the "true" religion, a fairly accurate picture of cosmology. To some extent, I'm guilty of this too, and with the same basic religion, no less. So I'll share my own fear--that of portrayed favoritism within the setting for a particular culture. And if we assume they can pin-point truth in religion, arguably the most unanswerable question in human existence, some readers may naturally assume they're right about most other things.[/quote]Greenwood Cult amuses Phoenix.[/quote]As I mentioned previously, Antitheism is well done.[/quote]
Thanks. :)

Quote from: PhoenixActually, I find it surprising to see creation called disorganized. We usually see the myth theme being creation is creating order from chaos (or Chaos in your case).

Yes.

Quote from: PhoenixGreenwood Cult amuses Phoenix.

Phoenix says, silly Greenwooders: trees are for burning. And druid-guys are for burning. Everything is for burning! Even Phoenix. Immolation!

Read the crystals page. Now I know why it's called Crystalstar!

I like the details on the different crystals. However, with three crystals associated with gods, and the rest not, it felt kind of odd. I don't know that I see it as a real problem, it's just that you kind of have this trinity thing going, and you sort of toy with it, then break it. One possible angle would be to make 9 colors, 3 for each aspect.

Cyan kind of struck me as an off-the-wall color, considering the others were all the more basic Crayola variety. Cyan always seems to fit more with CMYK than anything else. What about orange, white, brown, or even pink?

Other than that, I can think of much. Cool ideas, though.

Quote from: PhoenixI like the details on the different crystals. However, with three crystals associated with gods, and the rest not, it felt kind of odd. I don't know that I see it as a real problem, it's just that you kind of have this trinity thing going, and you sort of toy with it, then break it. One possible angle would be to make 9 colors, 3 for each aspect.

Cyan kind of struck me as an off-the-wall color, considering the others were all the more basic Crayola variety. Cyan always seems to fit more with CMYK than anything else. What about orange, white, brown, or even pink?

The actual hues were chosen because green, blue, and red are the primary colors in an additive color model, and the other colors are the secondary colors, that is combinations of two of the primary colors. I guess I could rename cyan to turquoise, if that'd make the name resonate better. I already talk about "violet" crystals and not "magenta" crystals, so I'm not being overly strict with the exact wording-- because, realistically, all four CMYK colors are also crystal colors. ;)

Anyway, the primary-colored crystals are each associated with a certain aspect of the gods, but the secondary-colored ones are not because they are instead associated with a combination of two of the primaries: force = creation + destruction, synthesis = creation + preservation, and memory = destruction + preservation.

I kind of like the set of (and capabilities of) colors as-is, so I'm not wild about changing that, but maybe closer ties to the cosmology/spirituality would be good if it feels like the secondary colored crystals "breaks" the system.

The way you explain it, it makes more sense now. I'm wondering if there's a way to work that explanation in so it's apparent to everyone?

Lore
I like the Origin section. I like Chaos. How do scholars know looking at Chaos brings death? Why does it have a humanoid depiction? If Chaos is banished, how would a humanoid see it anyway?

Would you like expanding on the Holy War? I like Cosmogonical stuff.

QuoteLittle is actually known of the Prismatic Imperium, since most of the historical records of this time were destroyed during the invasion of the Horde of the Damned.

The gods themselves remember, of course, telling of a time when people lived simple but fulfilling lives.[/quote]In the ominous year 2999, what would become known as the Horde of the Damned arrived, bringing nothing but destruction in its wake. Some suspect it was Chaos trying to break out of its prison. Others theorize an alien invasion. Still others believe it was something that formed on Vyea itself, perhaps an action by the Apocalyptic Covenant feeling it was time for change. [/quote]Chromatic Oligarchy[/b]
I know you said you didn't love the name, but I do.

Actually, maybe instead of lore, this page should be titled history. It seems to be a historical overview, though I'm finding it hard to grasp everything. Maybe having the timeline on this page would help. Of course, I'll eventually follow all the links--but I guess (and we're all guilty of it, I suppose)--I don't want to always leave the page I'm on to understand what's being said on this page.

Neodoxy adds depth, as others have mentioned before.

Modernity--this word sounds funny. So now I see the modern timeline. What event marks year 1 on the calendar, then?

Eras
Seems reminiscent of the yuga theory, but while the names are similar in sound, the order is different. Why that decision? For your concerns about Eschaton being depressing because the universe ends, I see you've got something similar going on ;)

So the people know they are in a Wheel of Time? They know what era they are in and believe Chaos will destroy everything? Is it also like the traditional descent of ages, where morality is said to decline?

I only glanced at the Adventures page. It seems like its geared towards giving GMs adventure ideas, so unless you think there's something crucial there, I'm going to dive into the deeper pages.