[Forum Game] Crush My Wishes

[Nomadic]

Granted, you now understand why the Japanese culture works the way it does and no longer get weirded out by them. Of course you still can't understand a word they say.

I wish I was the most brilliant storywriter on earth.

[sparkletwist]

Granted! You write the most brilliant story ever written. Everyone hates it because they prefer mass-market paperback trash. It barely sells enough copies for anyone to have heard of you, and you die prematurely, obscure and poor, when a mob tramples you at a book signing in order to grab all the copies of the latest book by Brian Herbert.

I wish all of the files on my computer were organized instead of being spread across three different drives.

[limetom]

Granted.  Most are archived and now inaccessible.  Including the ones in your System32 folder.

I wish that there were more hours in the day.

[Loch Belthadd]

Granted! however none of the clocks in the world are programmed for 2 extra hours so you don't know when they are.

I wish I had all the books that I am waiting for.

[Ninja D!]

Granted. They all arrived in your mail 10 minutes ago. They are in a form of Chinese and came from a place known to produce illegal copies of books...a place which is being investigated by the FBI, who just found those books you've been waiting for in your mail.

I wish I never felt tired.

[Seraph]

Granted!  While you never FEEL tired, you still suffer all the other negative effects of sleep deprivation.  And since you never feel tired you cannot make yourself get to sleep.  Sleeping pills do nothing to help you fall asleep, and driven mad by insomnia, you overdose on said sleeping pills and die.

I wish my Research Paper was done.

[Elemental_Elf]

Granted. Its about molecular biology and its effect on Sino-American relations during the 1980's.

I wish MY research paper, about Marx and Communism, were done!

[Ninja D!]

Granted. Your professor has his friend help him go over the research papers. This friend grew up in the 1950s and has always remained paranoid about "them cames". As he's aged, his mind has started to go. Reading your paper sends him over the edge and he goes on a killing spree, taking out all perceived communists, starting with you.

I wish I could just sleep when I feel tired.

[Elemental_Elf]

Granted, how ever you feel tired all the time now. Eventually you fall asleep in a forest and are tended to by 7 dwarf females who enjoy cooking, mining and singing catchy songs. Eventually Prince Valiant, a handsome paladin, rescues you from the Dwarfs and gives you a wet kiss with lots of extra slop. You awaken from your cursed sleep only to see a hawking spit bridge connecting you to the Prince.  Enjoy!

I wish I could play 4E more often!

[Nomadic]

Granted. WotC gets legislation passed banning all RPGs except 4e. Anyone caught playing anything else is put to death. Oh and all the angry 3e/non DnD fans blame you.

I wish that you would corrupt this wish in a way that causes harm to yourself and nobody else.

[Elemental_Elf]

Granted! I am sent to Disney Land to endure the horrendously un-fun rides, be forced to purchase their overpriced souvenirs and spend a week in one of Disney's official Hotel Rooms. God that week would SUCK!

I wish Nomadic had to watch all of Tim Allan's movies in a row as punishment for sending me to Disney Land!

[Loch Belthadd]

Granted! however he tricks you into watching them with him.

I wish I could watch them watch Tim Allan.

[Seraph]

Granted!  You are now a self-aware character in a Tim Allan movie.  You are able to see them through the television, but are forever trapped in the Tim Allan movie.

I wish I could stop time until my paper (which happens to be on the Elizabethan audience) was finished.

[Elemental_Elf]

Granted however, God smites you for your hubris and sends you to hell, where the Devil forces you to write the term papers of those who have sold their souls to him!

I wish I owned a House Elf akin to those in Harry Potter!

[limetom]

Granted.  You are now some wizard's manservant for the rest of eternity.

I wish I didn't have allergies.