[Forum Game] Crush My Wishes

[Ninja D!]

Granted but the MST3K audio was lost so it will be replaced by only the audio from the movies themselves. The sketches will be filled only with music from the public domain.

(You do know about RiffTrax, right?)

I wish I could get paid well just for being awesome.

[Elemental_Elf]

Granted! But your life slowly slips from your grip as you become obsessed with maintaining your awesomeness. Eventually drugs, prostitutes, alcohol and tigerblood enter the equation and your entire life's work is whittled down to a twitter account where you desperately try to look awesome to a dwindling follower base...

I wish the world was like Yugioh and everyone loved Children's Card Games instead of crummy old sports!

[Nomadic]

Granted, but your cards tear open a portal in time and space and bring unspeakable steerpikian horrors from beyond the veil of reality to feast on the flesh of the world.

I wish I could make anyone I wanted get whatever song I desired stuck in their head.

[Ninja D!]

Granted! Welcome to a card-summoned monster infested Never-Neverland where everyone loves childrens card games because they stay children forever! Or at least for as long as they live, which is no more than a couple of decades and since no one reaches puberty there can be no procreation and the race dies out quickly.

I wish I had all the time I wanted to play the games I used to play and people to play them with.

[LoA]

looks.. like you.. got.. NINJA-D!!!!!!

@Nomadic
granted! you get the barney theme song stuck in clint eastwoods head, and he shoots you dead.

I wish cartoon network was still making alot of great cartoons.

[Nomadic]

granted, they go out of business because good tv doesn't sell well

I wish pirates and ninjas were best friends

[Elemental_Elf]

Granted! However, you are randomly selected to serve in a bio-dome for the next 30 years. There will be no TV, no books, no people. Just you and your genetically engineered Venus Fly Trap.

I wish someone would grant Ninja D's last wish!

DRAT I got Ninja D!!!!

@ Nomadic: Granted! However, the sheer awesomeness of those two forces teaming up attracts the ire of Super Braintron 6000 and so the world is plunged into a nuclear holocaust where only the Cyborg slaves of Super Braintron 6000 may live.

I wish someone would grant Ninja D's last wish!

[Nomadic]

Granted, someone will... in roughly 6000 years...

I wish I had my own starship

[Elemental_Elf]

Granted! However, it can only travel at 1/2 the speed of light and someone forgot to stock the kitchen with any food. You will die of starvation and/or thirst before you reach your intended destination.

I wish Nomadic had a starship with food on board!

[SA]

Granted. The vessel is a sentient bioship fuelled by organic materials. It charts a course among the habitable worlds of the cosmos, harvesting their inhabitants for its own purposes and to nourish its human crew. As it feeds it grows and inevitably its hunger is insatiable. At last only Nomadic's home planet is left. The starship, heedless of its captain's desires, opens wide its maw...

I wish banana ice cream tasted like banana.

[Kindling]

Granted. In your wild quest for banana-ice-cream perfection, the experimentation process over several years eats into the world's banana crops until, finally, when the finished banana ice cream is perfected, the banana itself is near extinction. Millions of financially ruined banana-farmers and banana-merchants gather outside your house with pitchforks and torches... you think you can glimpse a gallows somewhere behind them...

I wish those strap-on golden beards from that Lady Gaga video would come in as a standard male fashion accessory.

[SA]

Granted. The beards become the premier accessory of men the world over, eventually coming to represent masculinity so completely that men forgo all traditional expressions of maleness and dedicate their every waking moment to the "grooming" of their luxuriant metal chin-blankets. The birth-rate plummets and within 100 years no new human beings are born. This is revealed to be the insidious scheme of Venusians, who promptly invade, only to be thwarted by the horrifying presence of water on our planet. Even so, the human race is dead within a generation.

I wish I could remember to vote for the CBG over on rpggateway.com.

[Ninja D!]

Granted. However, every time you go to vote, the form glitches and makes you vote a "1".

I wish I could think of a wish.

[SA]

Granted. The wish you think of is for everyone to be zombies. And then they are.

I wish there was an organization of wish uncrushers who would take note of, and set right, this terrible inhuman fiasco.

[Ninja D!]

Granted. They determine that the best method of preventing future abuse is the complete extermination of the human race.

I wish I didn't need or want to sleep.